Yesterday, I probably made myself
look like a complete fool!
Yesterday I had an amazing day with my kids.
Yesterday I laughed when my daughter fell in mud
instead of thinking about the huge mess.
Yesterday, I tried so hard to ignore
all the struggles they endure.
Yesterday, I focused on all
the wonderful moments with my kids.
Yesterday, I struggled not to cry
as I bought a pack of Pull ups for my son.
and yet I still feel as if I may have failed....

I got Pull-Ups for Charlie. I didn't tell him what they were and I didn't go to the store, walk down the baby aisle,  and spend 15 dollars on a pack to try it out, but I was at a yard sale and they had a pack sitting there and I made a HUGE deal about it as if it were the first time I had ever seen them. 

Then I said, "These are the ones I was looking for, aren't these the things they made JUST for BIG boys?" The mom gave me the knowing smile and said, "Yup mom those are only for special big boys!!!" So, we tried it last night. He wore one over his underwear, because he hates how they feel on his skin. I stressed to him that we were only trying to protect his bedding and stuffies. It worked and he didn't have an accident. I am certain he will understand better when he wets as he will realize that his bed does not have to be stripped, which upsets him every time. 

However small of an issue this may seem, for me it was very hard. In the last year I have been introduced to a whole new level of special needs. We now have an adaptable chair, a sensory swing in the house, AFOs for his legs, an adolescent stroller, a special car seat, special dinnerware, and Pull ups. It has been very emotional. But, what is the difference in the pull ups when he already has all of the other equipment in place? NONE, it is just another aid to help him cope and handle life with the struggles he faces. It is a tool that will help me as well, the laundry is piling up and never seems to end. My heart and mind are open and I will do whatever it takes to give him some dignity. He definitely deserves that!

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